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When are you going to write a “real” book?

10. June 2006

These replies to the ubiquous question were from Miss Snark’s blog:

When are you going to write a real (i.e. literary fiction) book?

1. I’d love to write literary fiction but my agent flat out refuses to stop making money on my work.

2. It’s a good thing you are handsome, because your manners are butt ugly

3. I leave the pretentious naval gazing to people better trained for the job.

4. I’m purposely avoiding writing anything that will be of interest to you.

5. How kind of you to show an interest in my career. Are you asking because you need a loan?

6. I’m reserving the great novel for when I need to lower my taxable income.

7. Literary fiction tends to be attractive to people I don’t much care to be around.

8. I had to sign a non-compete when I stopped being Thomas Pynchon’s ghostwriter. He’s very fussy about those things

9. Yanno, that’s exactly what someone asked Stephen King three days before he received the National Book Award for outstanding contribution to American letters.

10. Right about the time you get your head out of your analogous.

Got any more comebacks you‘d like to share?

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